Monthly Archives: October 2006


I realized today that I am a dumb peon. I am a card-carrying member of a generic demographic. I am an unthinking, gullible sheep.


I came to the revelation when I counted and discovered I had amassed 48 Monopoly game peices from McDonalds. I don’t want to even think about the weekly average that must mean, considering the promotion has only been going on for the past three and half weeks.

(Note: Before I contiune, let me add that 80 percent of my McDonald’s visits this month have been for breakfast (as if this gets me off any hooks) and since I’ve been travelling so much for work, I really didn’t have a choice but to have fastfood for breakfast.

Normally, I pride myself in cutting through marketing BS but something about those blastesd peal-off chances at fortune suck me in like nothing else. I know popping open a cold Bud Lite won’t result in eight women in bikinis showing up for the big game and I know that wearing a certain designer’s jeans won’t instantly make me cool (not that I need any help). However, I also know that if I just one more hashbrown for tomorrow’s breakfast I’m going to peel of the bane of my existence, the elusive fourth Rail Road or – dare I hope? – Boardwalk.

I wouldn’t feel bad if I were already going to eat at McDonald’s or even if I had plans to eat at some other fast food joint and altered them for a shot at the “french fry lotto.” No, what’s truly pathetic is that I’ve increased my McD rate solely for the purpose of getting those silly peal off stickers in teh hopes of winning $1,000,000 (or at least a free small order of fries). I am the perfect target of McDonald’s marketing genious. The promotion didn’t just win me over from Burger King or Wendy’s, it’s won me over from my own common sense. I am a slave. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Part of me says I can justify these extra purchases because a friend of mine in elementary school won $100,000 from McDonald’s “so it can happen to me, too!” As if that logic made any sense.

The game ends in a week so the McDonald’s-free light at the end of my tunnell of stupidity is within sight. Of course, I’ll also be away from home three breakfasts before then. Who knows? In the game peices I might collect, I could win a bundle of cash, a new car or trip around the world.

Or, I might skip McDonald’s, get a bacon, egg and cheese Toaster Sandwich at Sonic and win back my pride.



One of the worst feelings in the world is when you’ve betrayed a friend’s trust.

Thankfully, one of the best feelings in the world is when that friend is calm enough to talk things through without blowing a gasket and then forgives you.

Thank God for the patient and long-suffering.

One of the great tragedies of being the quiet-sit-in-the-corner-and-soak-up-everything type is that you eventually get to the point to where you think you’ve learned everything and your urge to “fix things” overcomes the quient-sit-in-the-cornerness that has previously served so well. There are times to to come out of the corner swinging, but there are also times when it’s best to just stay put for a few more minutes.

Great Questions of the Universe, Part 1

Why is it that I log into my blog at and yet my blog’s URL is

Special Friend Day

On my way back to work from lunch, I passed Lewis and Clark Middle School and their marquee sign caught my eye.

Oct. 6 – No school
Oct. 9 – Special friend day
What is going down next Monday? Is the school district reallyg going to pass out a mentally challenged child to each middle schooler? I’ve heard of teaching responsiblity, but this should done with a sack of flour or an egg, not a retarded kid. This in an outrage! In fact, I demand that Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert resign!

An anthropological moment

Gerardo, one of the janitors at work, came into my office to empty my trash today and commented on the scented candles in the outer office.

“How can you stand that smell?” he asked.

I love that scented candle. It’s a mix of cinnamon, vanilla, and something else and to me it smells like Christmas. I literally get happier when I walk by it.

But to Gerardo, it has a totally different association. He told me that when he was growing up in Mexico, flowers were burned with candles to create incense for funerals. To him, my eau du Christmas is literally the scent of death.

There are many things I don’t understand, but chief among them has got to be politics.

Take this whole Florida-congressman-what’s-his-face-is-pedophile thing. OK, so he’s a Republican. How is that we’re supposed to believe that the sins of a guy in the Sunshine State affect the senate race in Ohio? Why the ^@^# should we care? Are we supposed to think that joining a particular party causes one to solicit young boys?

The bottom line here folks is that people are sinners. Before they are Republicans, Democrats, Liberals, Conservatives, geniouses or idiots, homosexuals, or straight as an arrow, every single one is a sinner.

I’m more than a little ashamed to admit it, but this is has the capability to greatly disrupt my plans for the next few years.