Ridin’ Dirty


I should have seen it coming. Heck, even Chamillionaire tried to warn me. But did I listen? Nooooooooooo.

“Brian,” he said,
“Police think they can see you lean;
You tint so it ain’t easy to be seen…
They see you rollin’
They hatin’
Patrollin’
They tryin’ to catch you ridin’ dirty.”

After 6 and-half-hours driving and with nearly 400 miles under my belt, the red and blue strobes of a Missouri Highway Patrol cruiser appeared in my rear view mirror.

The Trooper was very polite and I was too since

a) I knew it couldn’t be anything major and my cruise control was set at 70 and
b) I’d be that way regardless.

Turns out my windows are illegally tinted. He tested it (I wonder how much of my taxes went toward providing each state trooper a window tint tester) and apparently my tint allows only 15 percent of the light in and the legal limit is 35 percent. I explained that I bought the car with the tint already on and it hadn’t been a problem in the three years I’d been in the state, but he gave me a ticket any way. $83. Plus, I have to pay to have the tint removed.

While I am certainly annoyed that I have to drop $83, I even more annoyed that a piece of dark glass ruined my perfect driving record. If I were going to blemish it, it should at least be for going 125 while running from the cops and stashing the dope or something.

I’m still going to claim it’s perfect, because it doesn’t count against my license and it doesn’t affect my insurance.

In the end, I guess I should thankful he didn’t write me a ticket for being white and nerdy.

That and he didn’t find the kilo of coke in the trunk.

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One response to “Ridin’ Dirty

  1. I think this is my favorite post ever. It’s funny, filled with pop references and has a zinger at the end. Well done! Concise!

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