Hancock, 2/5

Rated PG-13. Click here to view the trailer.

I don’t think director Peter Berg bears any ill will towards me, but you wouldn’t know it to watch Hancock. It’s not a horrible movie (nowhere near anything ever conceived by Friedberg and Seltzer), but wow there is an awful lot wrong with it. The best thing about it is that cool Boston College stocking cap in the poster.

Hancock (Will Smith) with a boozing misanthropic Super Man who more or less fights crime, leaving a massive death toll and destruction in his collateral damage wake. After his latest antics, along comes a do-gooder PR hack (Jason Bateman) to makeover Hancock. Charlize Theron and Smith exchange curious glances, setting the new standard for heavy handed and obvious foreshadowing. There are subplots involving spaghetti and French bullies. One person’s head is literally shoved up another man’s… well you know. There are atleast three Back 2 the Future references.

Does Hancock turn over a new leaf? Why are those two exchanging those knowing glances? Was the spaghetti good? I don’t really care and this hamfisted movie doesn’t either. There’s no real story, save for a plot twist midway through that would make M. Night Shamalamadingdong go “Huh?”It takes itself way too seriously, there’s absolutely no emotion from anyone, there is no villain, the camera work and editing are horrible and the special effects (especially when Hancock flies) are smothered in cheese. Don’t get me started on the plot holes or the graffiti on the moon.

Smith just can’t pull off being a slob and as much as I love Jason Bateman, he was pretty forgettable. Charlize is a talented woman but she must have owed the director money.

It was worth the $3 I paid, but not a penny more.

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