There’s been a lot of talk about reform lately, and up until yesterday, I honestly haven’t been too interested. My employer takes care of me, why should I get all worked up? It’s easy to say “I’m young and (relatively) healthy… I don’t have a dog in this fight.” It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized we’re each only a breath away from being thrust headfirst into the heart of the debate. I normally ascribe to the “less is more” theory of government, but now I’m wholeheartedly behind a public option. The system we currently have is broken, and Congress needs to act for the good of our great republic.
That’s right. America needs parking reform, and we need it now. The government can take care of it, or the private sector can jump in, I don’t care. Oh, ha, you thought we were talking about health care reform? That’s funny. Yeah, no, we’re totally talking about parking.
I went to a workshop at Mizzou yesterday, and I was excited as I drove onto campus. Columbia is pretty much the Mecca of journalism and it was a treat to go and learn some new tricks at the feet of the masters. But the whole experience was ruined by lack of parking. And official classes haven’t even started yet! If it was bad yesterday, just imagine how third-world things are going to look when 30,000 students descend in the coming days. I got worked up over the parking situation at relatively parking-friendly OBU; if I had gone to Mizzou for my undergrad, my head might have exploded. I hate to seem like a whiner, but why can’t we figure out parking? My employer has adequate parking with their limited budget, why can’t Mizzou with all their vast funding and space? What’s that? You’re landlocked? You’ll get no sympathy from me. Plan ahead, people! I don’t mind walking a block or two, but I think it’s reasonable to expect that I should as least be able to see my destination from my parking spot. This is why I don’t like big cities: you’re not free to move around at will. Sure you could walk, but that like taking a step backward (no pun intended). Adequate parking is a hallmark of civilization.
You probably didn’t learn this in your touchy feely government-run schools, but the long-lost 11th amendment to the Bill of Rights was supposed to mandate that congress provide each citizen free angled parking. This was remarkably progressive – especially considering that Henry Ford wouldn’t make automobiles a common sight until 119 year later. I need to confirm this next one with some experts, but I have reason to believe that John 14:2 does not read “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you,” but instead is more accurately translated as “In my Father’s house are many parking lots…” In short, ample parking is a basic human right, endowed by the Creator. Obama should get on this.
So yeah. Something needs to change. The system we have is broken, and congress needs to act for the good of our great republic. Claire McCaskill is hosting a town hall meeting in Jeff City next week. I should go and raise a little hell on my new pet issue. Although now that I think about it, it’s probably going to be crowded, and parking may be an issue…