Monthly Archives: November 2010

If I were an Incan Llama Rancher

The other day I was combing through some old computer files and I stumbled upon this “essay.” I wrote it during one particularly boring Comp Civ lecture my junior year. You should read it because A) it mentions llamas and B) do you really need a second reason? Continue reading

Death and Other Cliches

click picture to go to the site where I blatantly stole this

It’s been a long, hard, fun, crazy, tragic, inspiring, uplifting and strange couple of days. Mostly just long.

Thursday:
Full day of Work
2.5 drive to STL
Stood (sat) in line for four hours to see Harry Potter VII (part one) at midnight with Megan and her friends. Looking around at the people in line, it was like I’d stepped into a slightly more co-ed ComicCon. Just a bunch of walking, talking, costumed, cliched (and happy) Muggles.

Continue reading

‘Yeah, that’s a Tiara’ and Answers to Your Twelve Other Pressing Questions

Allow me to answer a few of your questions, starting with the most pressing:

  1. Yes, that woman IS wearing a tiara in that picture. I think she’s the HLG Homecoming Queen. I think. I hope.
  2. Yes, he did lead the crowd in an awkward sing-a-long of the BJ Thomas classic, “As Long as We’ve Got Each Other” before raising his voice an octave and reenacting a few Mike Seaver moments. I have a video of this, but I’m a little afraid to watch it. Continue reading

My New Favorite Quote

Anyone who isn’t confused really doesn’t understand the situation.
Edward R. Murrow.

A Tragic Ode to Condiments with An Unusually Abrupt Ending (by special request)

Why did God make our hearts so red?
Why is the sun so yellow?
Why is the snow so fluffy and white?
“The answer is plain!” I must bellow

Creation points to divine perfection
That which is Good and Sweet
All things on Earth are based on condiments,
Adding flavor/depth to all we eat Continue reading

10 Top Pick Up Lines… and Their Responses

eHarmony won’t leave me alone. They’re constantly sending me offers and dating tips. Given that eHarmony’s flagship product – online dating – actually worked as promised and I’ve been dating Megan for four months now, their tips for meeting women are a little late to the game (never mind that helping me meet women off-line (ie: in the real world) seems to run against their business plan). Continue reading