Monthly Archives: December 2014

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz: Review of ‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’

hobbit five armies square

Defining Chapter, eh? Because when i think of The Hobbit, I absolutely think of the few-paragraphs long battle.

Rated PG-13, 144 minutes (watched 12/19/14)

My one-word review: Ridiculous. Continue reading

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day (in Ferguson)

church-bells-570x297

After the Grand Jury in St. Louis County decided there was insufficient evidence to indict the police officer who shot and killed a black man in August, Ferguson erupted. I – and you probably – watched on TV as fires were set and property looted and destroyed. No matter where you stand on who is at fault or what wrongs happened when, there can be little doubt that hate is strong in this world and mocks the Christmas refrain of “peace of earth, goodwill to men.”

Continue reading

Up All Night: Review of ‘Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb’

night at the museum square

Judging from the poster alone, the tomb which holds the secret is in London inside Big Ben.

Rated PG, 98 minutes (watched 12/19/14)

This is an infinitely silly movie. But sometimes it’s fun to watch actors who are capable of heavy, dramatic and noteworthy performances make goofy faces and talk in funny voices, don’t you think? Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb gives you that and not much else, but that’s perfectly fine. Continue reading

A Christmastime High Five From the Koonces

christmastime high five

What a fun and crazy1 2014 it has been!

We are truly, truly2 blessed: we celebrated our first full year of marriage,3 rubbed shoulders with movie stars in Florida, caught a ballgame in Baltimore, took a road trip adventure to Kentucky, adopted a second dog, found the world’s best chicken wings,4 stumbled across a great new pizza place,5  discovered new TV obsessions,6 created a new snack at the movies,7 read some terrific books,8 saw our favorite celebrity9 live, made some new friends, learned some fun new board/card games,10 Brian learned he looks awesome in bow-ties (which means Megan learned to tie a bow-tie) and we celebrated Brian’s sister’s wedding.11 I know, right? What an awesome year! High fives all around! o/*\o 12 Continue reading

Let My People Go… Home and Rent a Better Movie: Review of ‘Exodus: Gods and Kings’

Evidently the guy on the right has alopecia.

Aww, the poor little fella on the right is jealous of Christian Bale’s beard :-(. It’s OK, Baldy. Your sweatervest is shinier!

Rated PG-13, 150 minutes (watched 12/14/14)

It’s impossible to watch Exodus: Gods and Kings and not compare it to two movies: this spring’s Noah and the 1956 classic, The Ten Commandments. You get no points for guessing this modern action epic falls short of the Charlton Heston/Yul Brynner masterpiece, but I was disappointed that it didn’t even rise to the much lower bar set by Noah. Whereas Noah was a decent movie underneath the layers of extrabiblical story (and rock monsters!), Exodus retells the biblical account in its own odd way without even giving us the satisfaction of being a good movie. Continue reading