Category Archives: Brian On [Movie Reviews]

A Gun Owner’s Review of ‘Spectre’

spectre.jpegRated PG-13, 148 minutes (watched 11/7/15)

One of the (few) downsides of being a gun owner is that you begin see through so many of Hollywood’s tricks and tropes. Once you begin your ride, you count rounds remaining in magazines/cylinders and wonder how long the bad guy waited for the ATF to approve his Form 4s for that suppressed short barrel rifle (spoiler alert: he didn’t). You shake your head when dozens of baddies can’t hit the broadside of barn while the White Hats are one-shot-one-kill and you wince every time the good guys muzzle each other. Perhaps most egregiously, you grind your teeth to powdery nubs when hero unnecessarily racks his shotgun over and over. Continue reading


Heart and Humor: Review of ‘War Room’

As much as I enjoyed the movie, this poster is awful.

As much as I enjoyed the movie, this poster is awful.

Rated PG, 120 minutes (watched 8/31/15)

Settling into my seat with my tub of popcorn and a Diet Pepsi that cost roughly half a mortgage payment, I expected War Room to be to an affirming, charming movie with a solidly biblical worldview. Confession: Though I respect the aim of God’s Not Dead, Son of God, Fireproof and the like, I thought they failed at being movies. I expected some stiff acting from War Room, and an admirable but predictable moral; I expected to give it a hearty “Meh.” What I didn’t expect was a surprisingly funny and well-done movie that holds up well enough against the explosions and spectacle in the theaters next door. When it was over, I walked to the car feeling like I’d seen a “real” movie. Continue reading

I’m Still Not Clear What They’re Avenging: Review of “The Avengers 2: Age of Ultron”

You know you've arrived when you even have to put the name of your movie on your poster.

You know you’ve arrived when you even have to put the name of your movie on your poster; half of a letter will do!

Rated PG-13, 141 minutes (watched 5/8/15)

There’s a moment of capital-T Truth in Avengers: Age of Ultron. Allow me to set the scene:  Two of our heroes are trapped in a crumbling church in a city that is levitating miles above the ground (yes, the entire city). A newcomer to the Avengers’ ranks is Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olson), and she is nervous. But hey, a swarm of homicidal, Pinocchio-quoting robots generally has that effect on me too. Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) pauses from taking out said killer robots with Robin Hood kit,looks down at her, and grins:

“The whole city is flying. I have a bow-and-arrow. None of this makes any sense!”

Truer words have never been spoken, Hawkeye. He may as well have finished his thought: “Don’t think too much. Just go with it!” Continue reading

Where the Heart is? Review of “Home”

You know what? I kind of liked both How To Train Your Dragon and The Croods. Sure, I'll get it a shot.

You know what? I kind of liked both How To Train Your Dragon and The Croods. Sure, I’ll give it a shot.

Rated PG, 94 minutes (watched 4/4/15)

I chuckled more than I’d like to admit during a matinee of Home, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything new, groundbreaking or admirable here. Even for a non-Disney/non-Pixar computer animated movie, this is a generic and derivative animated feature.
Continue reading

If the Shoe Fits: Review of “Cinderella”

That is one dark, foreboding sky.

That is one dark, foreboding sky.

Rated PG, 105 minutes (watched 3/14/15)

While standing in line to see Disney’s live-action remake of Cinderella (and there was a line), a woman corralled by the velvet ropes took her place behind us, kids in tow. She was holding a large pizza. Continue reading

A Sincere Form of Flattery: Review of “The Imitation Game”

Hey look! It's Smaug!

Hey look! It’s Smaug!

Rated PG-13, 114 minutes (watched 2/16/15)

The Imitation Game has a lot going for it. It has a great cast, an engaging backstory, and a new twist on a genre I thought had been mined just about as much as possible: World War II. It’s good, it’s true, it’s different, and I enjoyed it. I’m just not sure it knows what it is.  Continue reading

All That and a Jar of Marmalade: Review of “Paddington”

paddinton square

Hehe… I kind of want to boop his nose. *BOOP* hehe

Rated PG, 95 minutes (watched 1/24/15)

Paddington is a shockingly cute movie. OK, so “shockingly” may be a little too strong, but I enjoyed the 95-minute run and I did not expect this to be the case. Truth be told, I was only able to enjoy 78 minutes of it, but we’ll get to that. Continue reading